I’m getting on here to try to save this relationship as much as possible, even though I can’t change my boyfriend or make him understand how his actions hurt me.
Our relationship is still relatively new (our 6 months were just last week), and although he has been sweet to me and taken care of me like no other boyfriend has, there are a few things I can’t seem to overlook. He has a habit of making a lot of empty promises (big and small), and at first, his promises meant the world to me- but as time passed, I started feeling like every promise was just one waiting to be broken.
I am not only talking about big, ambitious promises (like in the future, we will have/do xyz) but the small ones. It almost always feels like he makes promises to make me happy at the moment and then later breaks them, and honestly, it would hurt less if he was just honest from the get-go. Sometimes, I may get upset if something doesn’t work out, and he’s sincere about it, but I would 100% appreciate the honesty much more than believing something that would never happen. I have found he lies to me for the same reason: to make me happy in the moment. It will be small lies, but whenever I have found out it’s a lie, it has hurt me ten times worse than if he had just told me the truth.
Truths can hurt, and I am okay with being hurt, but being lied to and dealing with empty/broken promises damages my trust in him and our relationship. We had dreamt up our futures together, and now I even question whether that future is a promise that will be broken. Of course, no one can know how things can go, but it’s one thing for things to not work, but it’s another to promise something that you know you aren’t working towards.
I have brought up my concern and my hurt with him over this topic many times, and each time, he has expressed understanding and promised change, yet the same thing happens every time. When I express how much it hurts me, he says, “he’s trying.” I can’t understand him when all I am asking is for him not to lie or promise anything he can’t keep.
I love him and don’t think anyone has been as sweet as him, but I don’t know how to deal with this issue. I have considered leaving the relationship because not being able to trust my partner has been giving me a lot of anxiety. Right now, I am in a master’s program, and I feel like this anxiety is impacting how I am doing. How can I make him realize the seriousness of this situation and that not being able to trust him will break down this relationship?
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Conclusion
Trust and reliability form the foundation of any strong relationship. When promises are broken, these essential pillars are shaken, making it challenging to move forward. However, rebuilding trust is possible through consistent actions, open communication, and a commitment to change. By prioritizing reliability and practicing forgiveness, couples can work together to restore the bond and create a stronger, more resilient relationship. Trust may take time to rebuild, but with patience and effort, it can once again become the cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling partnership.